History and Background:
It was 2:40 a.m. The rest of the world slept. Not me. I tossed and turned. Insomnia does not visit me often. However,
tonight, today, this morning was different. The causes of my insomnia are far different from the normal causes. Thankfully, the remedy is easy. I thought I would share my tips to reduce insomnia to help you all out.
First Contributing Factor
It all started at 2:30 a.m. I was in and out of consciousness, fitfully tossing and turning. The culprit? My geriatric farm dog began barking.right.under.the.window next to my bed. He was so close to the house, there was an uncanny deep vibration as his voice bounced off the side of the house.
Hank, the geriatric dog, lost his hearing. His sight appears compromised. He went from not barking ever during the day to barking at cars, delivery men, and even me. I pulled the blankets tightly over my head and heaved a sigh. I couldn’t complain. Hank has been a loyal loving dog for the 14 years we have owned him. Finally, I drift back into the transition between conscious thought and dream land.
Second Contributing Factor
Not for long. Soon Zoe, our farm dog in training began barking.
It wasn’t just any bark. We call it the turbo bark. She fired off a round of barks that made me think our farm was under attack by a big hairy monster. She is protective. I jumped out of bed, looked out my window, saw nothing and hopped back into bed. She stopped. All was well. For a second time, I pulled the bed covers over my head and started to enter dreamland zone.
It was a beautiful dream. I was sporting a 120 pound lean physique walking in a field of poppies. I just sent a camera crew home from a major news network. They were capturing the milestone moment of me making my first million through my soap business.
Zoe had the audacity to shatter that dream with another round of turbo barking far exceeding the panic and desperation of the last round. It was odd for her to be that worked up. It was beyond a “possum is on the farm” alert.
I staggered out of bed and mumbled to my husband that I needed to see why Zoe was barking at the camera crew. Maybe they stole some of that million and she was telling me about it. He mumbled something incoherent in response. I made my way to the front door. The turbo barking got louder. If only I had known that opening the door was about to cost me my life or at least the rest of my sleep, I would have gotten my husband first.
Third Contributing Factor
Instead, I open the door unprepared for what was about to happen. I was mowed down. Not by a gun. Not by a hairy monster. Not even my a creepy intruder. But, I was mobbed by seven baby goats. Their hooves thundered on the laminate. How my teens slept through the majority of that, I will never know. As I stepped out on the porch, I saw the glowing eyes of our entire herd of livestock. They were feasting on the daffodils under the Rose of Sharon tree. Twenty-five goats were under that tree along with a small beef cow who things she is a goat. Before stepping back in the house, I the dark form move quickly toward the garden. It was my milk cow acting like a ninja hoping not to be seen.
I returned to the house, walked down the hall to get my husband, shoes, and a flashlight. The seven baby goats followed me, hooves thundering, and screaming the whole way down the hall. I opened our bedroom door. The goats advanced ahead of me screaming and thundering. My husband shot up out of bed like a fireman ready for action.
Ninja Cow, Unruly Cow
Getting the goats back into their pasture was easy. They followed. However, the cows decided they liked their new-found freedom. One tried to hide in a small shed. I saw her head sticking out. The empty feed sack tactic worked. She followed me out of the shed and back to her pasture … almost. She heard her mother calling and altered course. Thankfully, my husband’s quick work got the momma milk cow and the young beef heifer within range of the gate. My twin sons appeared on the scene staggering, barefooted, but ready for action. We got all the animals back in their pens. The bucks almost gave us the slip pretending like they belonged in the doe’s pen munching on hay.
Fifth Contributing Factor
Sadly, sprinting through the cold brisk air not only woke me up for another hour an a half but so did the coughing that goes with sprinting in the night air. My husband suffered the same thing. I have a new-found respect for my husband. He is not a farmer. But, he can in a moment’s notice spring into action to help. I love it that he supports and literally chases my dreams with me in the dark cold night at 3:00 a.m
This is what I call livestock induced insomnia. It cost us a good night’s sleep. We made up for it by sleeping in while the teens did the chores. When I woke up late this morning, the teens were reinforcing the gate. There is no need for chronic insomnia around here.
The faint of heart would sell off the entire herd after a
night morning like that. Not me. If you visit the farm and see seven log chains fastened with seven padlocks, you will know why. It is a dandy treatment for insomnia.
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